THE ONE-STEP REFRAME
(Also known as, "Give it the Finger.")
by Dianne Ruth, CCH, PhD
The following powerful little technique will help you to negotiate a behavioral change within your self. It will resolve inner conflicts between what you want consciously and what your unconscious mind is compelling you to do.
If the internal change you seek was something you could have done through will power alone, you would have made the change already. So therefore, some other deeper part of you is running the unwanted behavior, attitude or response.
This mini-exercise will allow you to communicate with the part of your unconscious mind that is running the unwanted behavior. It is assumed that the part responsible for the unwanted action has a positive intention for you, even though you may not like the way in which it is accomplishing that intention. That part may be trying to protect you or take care of you in some way.
You may even wish to take a few moments to ask this part within yourself what it is doing for you ... then listen to your internal responses. For example: If I put off paying my bills, then I will have more money in the bank, and that will make me feel more secure.
We want that part to keep on having positive intentions for you, even if you don’t know exactly what they are! In fact, we want it to find even more positive ways to take even BETTER care of you. After doing this technique, you will then get the desired outcome so the new actions happen naturally and automatically.
Some examples of responses or behaviors that you might want to change could include a desire to generate more creativity, improve your concentration and recall, become more assertive, have more energy, break bad habits such as fingernail biting, chronic lateness, help with some addictions, and so forth.
You can literally use this technique for thousands of ideas for self-improvement. It may not work one hundred percent for everything–what does? Meantime, just go for it ... experiment ... and have fun!
First, identify the unwanted behavior, response, or attitude. Clearly separate the behavior from the intention in your mind. Create a setup statement on paper such as: "I want to communicate with the part of me that is causing me to [state problem, e.g., procrastinate with paying my bills]."
Writing your focus statement down can be helpful followed by reading it out loud. Begin with, "Even though a part of me is causing me to [insert problem, e.g., procrastinate with paying my bills], I honor and respect the part of me that has positive intentions for my care and protection."
either hand on a table, your lap, or a chair arm, palm down, in a relaxed
Now wait patiently for your finger to indicate that your internal processing is complete. You will know when this is done by seeing your finger lower back down to its original position. Sometimes it happens in a few seconds; sometimes it takes several minutes, or more.
Interestingly, you may or may not even know what the better choices are that have been selected at the unconscious level.
You may discover what they are while reflecting on a later event that had within it better decision making; you may find yourself in a situation similar to an old one and suddenly you realize that your old behavior or response has been replaced by a new one; you may simply become aware that the quality of your life is enriched.
Sometimes it will be a little different. Sometimes it will be a lot
different, and sometimes it will be completely transformed.
it is for you, you have experienced taking control of your life by
changing your response.
I gave a cigarette "the finger" yesterday. The habit lingered slightly but the CRAVING definitely, noticeably, shockingly, and pleasantly, surprisingly, WENT AWAY!
If you encounter any difficulty with attempting to use the ONE-STEP REFRAME technique, and you wish to have some additional guidance, please feel free to contact either Dianne Ruth, CCH, PhD direct at (619) 961-7500 or Judie Keys, CCH, direct at (858) 560-0557 for assistance.
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